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Just before we moved to the suburbs, my parents took us out to what was going to be our new neighborhood to take a look around.  We went up to a park called the Grange to meet some of the kids from our block.  Standing by the sandbox, was a really cute dark-haired girl with bangs and crutches.  She had a cast on her leg and her arm and wasn’t managing very well.  My mom took me up to her and introduced her as Dina Green.  I asked her how she got hurt and she told me that she fell off the sliding-board and pointed behind me with her good arm.   I twisted my head to look behind me as to where she was pointing then I turned back.  I looked into her brown eyes and fell in love.

Over the next few years, Dina and I drifted back and forth between just being friends and being boyfriend/girlfriend.  Dina taught me the pleasures of slow dancing, holding hands and just reveling in the company of a female.  We went to the movies, the zoo and generally paled around.  She was really very nice and because we were neighbors and our parents friends, we got to spend lots of time together, not just on dates.  This was the first girl to whom I spoke the words “I love you” and the first who ever said it back.

During the summers, we’d wait outside for the Good Humor man and I’d beg him for dry ice to entertain Dina. You could place a small chunk of it in a balloon and it would inflate by itself.  You could put a larger piece in a bucket of water and it would make dense fog just like on a movie set.  You could even drop a small piece in some Kool-aid and make your own soda.  It chilled it down and fizzed it up at the same time

I am sure that Dina and I were formally boyfriend and girlfriend at one point because I clearly remember the day we broke up. There was an object returned: I don’t remember if it was a ring or a record, but it definitely proved it was over. Dina told me that it was because I was too slow. It took me a while to figure out what she meant.  Dina informed me that she had found another boy, a lifeguard at the swim club, who was more her speed and that we were no longer together.  Losing her as a girlfriend hurt at a profound, physical level. 

Even after we broke up, I was still in love with Dina Green and I tried to find a way to get her back.  There was a food store near our house that carried pumpkin seeds and I almost always had a bag with me.  Whenever any of my friends, Dina included, saw them, they’d ask for a few.  This was also during the time when my girl friends (not girlfriends) were practicing kissing and using me as a test dummy.  Shortly after we broke up, Dina and I were sitting alone in my house, after all, we were still the best of friends, and she asked for some pumpkin seeds.  I said, one seed, one kiss and she said sure. We kissed lightly.  Then she asked for another.  I said one seed, one kiss and she said sure.  We kissed again, this time a little more passionately.  After about 20 pumpkin seeds, the pretext was discarded and we were officially making out, for the first time in my life. The sensations of holding another human being, of kissing them, were indescribable.  In a moment of clarity, I finally understood what she meant by me being too slow.  This was what she craved and it was something that I had been unable to provide for her.  Unfortunately, the scene never really played out again, at least not with Dina.  While the whole thing thrilled me and scared me at the same time, it was something at least that I knew I would have to do in the future.

If you think back to the prior essay, you will realize that it was all Janice’s fault.  She had wired my brain to love at an age when sex wasn’t even a three-letter word.  Chastity was all I knew.  It would never occur to me to be pushy or try to take advantage of a girl.  But the pain of losing Dina only faded with time; it never really went away.  I realized that the next time I had a girlfriend; I would have to go a little faster and maybe avoid the mistake that cost me my Dina.

Dina eventually married the lifeguard and for a short time, she was happy.  Several years later, when she caught him cheating on her, she divorced him.  I certainly miss her though.  The love I shared with her was sweet, innocent and for a while, she was the perfect companion.  She taught me that your friend could be your girlfriend and vice versa.  It didn’t happen again for another 27 years.