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In High School, in college, in graduate school, every place I went, I made friends. Then, for whatever reason, they’d leave or I’d leave and we’d all scatter to the four corners of the earth, lost to distance or time.  It was very depressing.  After I completed graduate school, I was determined to reverse this trend.  My friends from college, Bill and Jane, had informed me that Bill’s job was taking them to Chicago.  My friends from graduate school, Anne and Martin, were moving there as well to take jobs.  I told Kristy that I had to find a way for us to move to Chicago.  I’d figure it out somehow.  She didn’t mind because her family was from Joliet so for her, it was almost like going home.

I told my thesis advisor that I was wanted to go to a certain lab in Chicago and that didn’t sit well with him.  This other lab was sort of a rival and he wanted me to go a more sympathetic place.  I told him that I was determined and when he saw that he couldn’t dissuade me, he helped be secure a post-doctoral fellowship there.

For that one year, it was awesome.  We could see Jane and Bill and Anne and Martin whenever we wanted.  We introduced the two couples to each other and they became friends as well.  It was one big happy circle with one exception.  My life with Kristy was a living hell.  My son had just been born and as crazy as my wife was, this pushed her even farther into the world of Harpies.

Luckily for me, there was a breath of fresh air at my new lab and her name was Bonnie Perlman.  She was a graduate student at the lab.  She was from Canada and had dark, shoulder-length, frizzy hair, a great rack and slim build.  She was smart and we became fast friends.  She looked up to me, after all, I was this great and wise post-doc from a nationally renowned lab and she was joy to work with.

Little did she know that I was completely head-over-heels in love with her.  By now I was a professional at hiding my feelings.  We got to spend lots of time together, she doing science, me pretending to do science but all the while reveling in her company.  We’d spend evenings together doing experiments, eating meals together; it was wonderful.

The only fly in the ointment was she was completely in love with her boyfriend who happened to be in graduate school in Minnesota.  She drove his car, spent hours on the phone with him and pined for him in between.  Maybe this was a good thing because he was never around to take her out and I got all of her free time.

At one point, things got so bad between Kristy and myself that I think we separated.  I’m not sure because she came back a few days later and never mentioned that it was a separation but I treated it that way.

This was my chance to go out on a date with Bonnie.  I had to trick her though because she was completely loyal to her boyfriend and she knew that I was married.  She’d never go out on a date with me if I told it was one.  Our experiments were fully automated and there was often nothing to do for hours at a time.  I convinced her to go to a nice restaurant with me.  This was not completely out of the ordinary because we often ate meals together while performing experiments.  We had a great time together but when the check came, she insisted on paying for her half.  I told her no.  I explained to her that it was my duty to support her career in science, that I had the money and she didn’t, what with the exchange rates and all.  Reluctantly, she let me pay for her dinner.  We went back to the lab and finished out the experiment.  When it was over, I casually asked her if she had any plans for the rest of the evening.  Unfortunately, she did.  Thus ended our first and last date together.

We stayed friends over the course of the year but since then I have heard from her only once or twice.  She was the first “younger woman” I ever thought about dating and it would be wonderful if I could finally tell her about my feelings for her after all these years.